It is all done ‘for us’!
What do you mean?
Have you ever heard people say ‘Why did you do this ‘to me’?’
Recently I learned from Panache Desai (link below) that instead of thinking that they have ‘done it to me’ I could look at it from a different perspective as in that ‘they have ‘done it for me’.
When we move from a victim consciousness where we believe that things are ‘done to us’ to a creator consciousness, our awareness changes to that it is ‘done for us’.
Everything that happens can be used as a spring-board for greater awareness.
We can become aware of:
- our interpretation
- our perspective
- of the meaning we gave it
- the belief system we have had
- the conditioning of our thoughts
- the neural pathways we have formed
We are so used to ‘slipping’ into these neural pathways so easily since they are ‘so well trodden’ that they have become wide highways of ever so self righteous indignation.
Every feeling has a thought from which it originated.
Have we stopped long enough to find that thought and question it?
Have we asked ourselves: ‘Does this thought serve my well being?
Is there another thought I could, would want to think instead?
So, when we think something ‘is done to me’ we can use it to explore, question, become aware and more empowered.
We can then see that it is actually ‘done for me’, giving us the opportunity to create new ‘pathways’, which produce well being, create freedom and abundance. Yes, this does take time initially, but eventually it will mean that we have more time since we are not bogged down with dreadful feelings produced by limited thinking.
Taking the time to venture into transforming the ‘to me’ into ‘for me’ sets free energy, allows more well being and abundance and empowers us and leads to more freedom.
Watch this video ‘Find Gratitude in Tough Times ‘
with Panache Desai and Oprah
on Super Soul Sunday
Click here to find out more about Panache Desai (not an affiliate link)
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Empower Yourself through Awareness 
Hi Yorinda, I love that question to ask yourself – does this thought serve me? And heres the thing – I don’t think we ask the question of ourselves enough and carry on down that road to victim-hood. anyway, another really thought provoking read, and yes, that thought does serve me 🙂
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Love this! I have always believed “We become what we think about” and with that comes a responsibility to think powerfully. We choose to be empowered or not based on our thoughts.
Thank you to for introducing me to Panache Desai. I hadn’t heard of him before and he is marvelous. I look forward to learning more from his work!
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We ultimately control what we become. It is a simple choice to be positive and negative. Positive comes with eagerness to tackle fears, and be open minded. Negative means stuck in ones ways and just about making things to be black or white, never the gray.
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Ooo this is an important topic …. I;m thinking of the movie “Ground Hog Day” where Bill Murray repeated certain behaviors over and over and over again until he realized he could change things to create a different outcome. Feeling like a “victin” is the result of things happening, situations happening that keep you “feeling” like a victim.. when you begin to realize that you don’t have to believe these feelings, you can let go of them, things change and you become stronger and more empowered….. being grateful for who you are, your essence, and the things around you that bring you joy .. is powerful and healing ….
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Yorinda,
I really enjoyed your post! I like how a simple change of words can change your whole mindset from one of being a victim to being a creator or as you said having creator consciousness. So many times we have all been guilty of thinking or talking negatively about things that have happened in our lives. If we take the advice in your post and start changing our thoughts about what happens we can have a really positive impact and see some amazing things unfold in our lives. Thanks so much for this inspiring post and for sharing the video with Oprah!
Love and light,
Shelley
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Hi Yorinda,
Your post got me thinking about how we have resistance to things. Struggle, stress, pushing and frustration means the ego is at work. When we are frustrated, we believe we cannot get what we want and we continue to push against the circumstances at hand instead of finding another solution. The “victim-mentality” is also a form of resistance. As a victim, our ego assumes we are powerless in making a conscious choice.
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Hi Rachel,
it seems to be human to have resistance when things are not going our way.
Most of us have not had role models who taught us empowering ways to respond to circumstances.
Wouldn’t it be nice if it would get easier and easier to release that resistance and realise that we are response-able?
I love the though of children being taught how to do that!
Thank you for your comment!
Love and Light
Yorinda
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Yorinda,
I love your statement “When we think something ‘is done to me’ we can use it to explore, question, become aware and more empowered.” Initially, I still respond with my old conditioning – feeling bad, inadequate or even angry. But when I stop to reflect upon it, I usually do explore the meaning, other possible perspectives and my own conditioned responses.
I also love this statement: “We can then see that it is actually ’done for me’, giving us the opportunity to create new ‘pathways’, which produce well being, create freedom and abundance.” Isn’t that wonderful that we can use what seem to be negative experiences to “create new brain pathways.”
And I enjoy hearing the words of Penache Desai – spiritual wisdom and loving your life no matter what because you realize you are part of the divine.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
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Thank you so much, Dr. Erica for your comment!
I am glad you enjoyed the post and videw!
Love and Light
Yorinda
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Insightful as always Yorinda! My passion is encouraging people to cultivate greater resilience in life and a big part of being able to bounce back stronger than ever from adversity is having the willingness to look for the lesson and opportunities. Thanks for the inspiration!
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“No Matter what Come Up in Life”, it is all good because we are part of the whole… Yorinda, wow, this is a great article… something that I have been duelling on for years and learn as I go along in life.
The first time I encountered an experience to learn from knowing that Yes, it was not great, but from that I have grown so much and I always thank the person who made it happen (yes, she destroyed much of what I felt was great and good, but from that devastation, much, much more beautiful events come about and I am so grateful to God for that…Thanks for sharing all this info and the video Yorinda…
Your simple way of explaining how very simple changes of words, can create an enormous difference in the outcome… and developing a mind set that all is good… wow, this is powerful
Thanks again.
_nickc
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Hi Yorinda,
This is certainly a great way to look at things that happen to us (or for us) on a daily basis living life. How wonderful to replace the “to” with a “for” and change the way we think instantly! Thank you for sharing that awesome video as well.
Regards,
Kumar
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Yorinda, you post puts me in mind of the biblical story of Joseph, who was treated so badly by his brothers, and then the Pharaoh. God told Joseph they meant it for evil but He meant it for good. I often think of that in my own life. Yes, difficult things happen, but it’s always for a purpose — God’s purpose in my life — and is ultimately for the good of all people who are involved.
It’s something I often forget. Thank you for the reminder!
Willena
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Hi Yorinda Wanner. Its our mind which instructs our body to do the good or bad
~ Nitin
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I never thought of such to shape my thoughts as if “it is done for me”. I like the feeling this brings and test it out once I watched the video over again. I must admit I have no idea who this man is and never herd of him until now?
My new feelings will be to keep this in mind upon such things which pop up from time to time. I can get a gut feeling of bad news as it was put in the past and now look forward to the learning lesson I will gain.
My goodness Yorinda, thank you for expanding this mind. You are truly an amazing person and give off the feeling of completeness to us all.
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We do often think of things as punishment.. such an interesting concept.. We do need to see it as an opportunity… I have lived situations where I took things the wrong way– and it wasn’t a punishment… but an opportunity… sometimes it is difficult to see but with more and more practice… it is truly a lesson to really integrate into one’s life.. …
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I did it today!
I was faced with so many challenges based on yesterday being a huge celebration for us Veterans. I had to face getting up and catching up today. I thought with the first challenge keeping all my appointments no matter how tired I was.
It came to me, hey it has all be done for me already all I had to do is follow-up. I got everything done and remember from this point it is all done for me.
Thanks again for this wake-up call.
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No one can shape your emotions unless you let them. If someone does something to you, it is done and in the past. It is us that continue to hurt ourselves by the way we think. I think the only “why” we should ask is “could i have done something different” to prevent it and, if so, use it as a learning experience.
I love how you describe our conditioned neural pathways as highways. Often we need to take roads less traveled. It’s amazing what you can find along the way if you do.
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Hi Yorinda,
As time goes by your posts become more and more complex. You fight with that neural pathways and start to win the war with limited thinking.
Limited thinking produces dreadful feelings (the other way round is true, too). Dreadful feelings generate dreadful actions. Dreadful actions generate dreadful results. Dreadful results generate more limited thinking.
People find themselves trapped in this cycle and this has terrible consequences on the long term.
This post is interesting and needs a kind of sequel. How can you arrive at that higher level of consciousness when you see everything as “done for us”?
Have a wonderful day
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Thank you Yorinda 🙂
Great video shared 🙂
Gratitude is a choice we make and I also look at it as appreciation.
Cheers
Pearly
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I really like this thought, Yorinda! Moving from having things done “to me” to “for me” is a huge step in moving out of being a victim. As you suggest, our minds are patterned to “go victim” and believe that things are done to us, not for us.
Thanks for that helpful piece of NLP!
Alan.
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Yorinda thank you for the eye opener i never thought about this but as they say your never to old to learn thanks for the lesson looking forward to more.
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Hi Yorinda! I am not quite sure why it has been so long since I stopped by, I absolutely love the way you write. i can so relate. There are so many words that have different meanings HUH? I for one like to take the positive side of things, it is a choice Right? So choose wisely. Thanks for sharing,, Chery :))
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Hi Yorinda, that’s a MUCH better way to look at things! It’s taking the blame away from the person and thanking them instead. I’ve been through some emotional experiences lately with a close relative, it’s a real challenge to look at it as being done “for me”, but I’m sure the person didn’t mean to do it “TO me”. It was simply a matter of them not thinking about other people’s feelings at that time, but you can’t always do that, especially when you’re in a bad state yourself.
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Hi Yorinda – the young son of a friend of mine was recently diagnosed with autism. This was a great shock to him and his wife, and they grieved for the son they thought they should have.
But as time has gone by he now says that “if this child was to have parents who could take care of his needs, we are a pretty good choice! My wife stays home, and is a trained teacher. I work from home and make enough money for us to be able to afford extra professional advice for how to help him be the best he can be.”
That change of thinking has made a profound difference to that family.
Shelagh
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Yorinda,
It really is a matter of our interpretation of the things that happen in our lives. We can look at it from many perspectives and must ask if this perspective is empowering or not. Many years ago I was taught that no one can do anything to me. I must permit it, allow it to happen. So many say “you hurt my feelings.” It’s not possible to hurt another’s feelings. We allow it, we permit the thoughts, our thoughts to hurt us; to interpret a comment as merely hot air or painfully hurtful.
Thoughts are not always that easy to control. There are so many and we are so easily programmed.
Many thanks for a great post.
RICK
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Hi Yorinda!
Amazing what a simple shift in our words can make to our mindset. I love this thought – “When we move from a victim consciousness where we believe that things are ‘done to us’ to a creator consciousness, our awareness changes to that it is ‘done for us’.”
It’s so empowering! Thank you for such a thought-provoking post!
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Yorinda,
Your Insightful information attract me to read and re-read a few lines over and over again…
I commented before that I have learned about this topic a long time and go and it was not easy to accept.. but I am happy to say I do accept it 100% now and love it.
I love it for the same reason that you explained so great.
For my self when I can just “know” that no one done anything to me but I have created it my self all along.. I tell you, it give me the invigorating feeling to move forward knowing that I get stronger and stronger..
Thanks so much again for your great research, writing and insightful video you have chosen for us to watch…
_nickc
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This certainly is great advice, Yorinda.
We often accept the “done to me” mindset as a matter of habit. Everything that happens sees to get filtered through our victim mindset.
It’s very liberating to humble ourselves, accept negativity and criticism as opportunities to improve ourselves, and assert our ability to respond to what others would consider negative, with a positive outlook and proactive course of action.
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Hi Yorinda – I’ve never thought of turning the tables on things and not focusing on what was done TO me and instead focusing on what was done FOR me – very powerful and potentially life changing.
The emotions centered around done to – leave you angry,embarrassed, shamed, all negative emotions while the the emotions around done for – leave you searching the gifts and lessons – all positive emotions.
There is no question where I’d prefer to be – a terrific video (as usual) and a wonderful message.
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Yorinda, This is such an interesting concept! I always think that these situations in life are a chance for us to take stock of ourselves and try to turn or flip the negative into a positive. Thanks so much for sharing 🙂
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Hi Yorinda… love this post…and it is so true, thinking like a victim only makes us act like one! I so believe everything happens for a good reason….and when we can take responsibility to know that and act in alignment with that then we are really getting into the delights of creating our own reality…thanks for inspiring me today!
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I’ve just come back to look at the video again, and I’m glad that I did. Of course, I’ll share it again as well 🙂
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Awesome Yorinda!
When “bad” things happen, I never think it is punishment. It just is what it is. Whatever negative thing comes my way, my first response is to fix it.
Then I question, what preceded this? I go into myself and take a good look … an honest one. Was I thinking negative thoughts? Was I around negative people?
I like staying in the positive. And sometimes it can be difficult, but as long as we acknowledge this fact, we can bounce back very easily.
-Donna
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Hi Yorinda. I got a belly laugh out of this statement: We are so used to ‘slipping into these neural pathways so easily since they are ‘so well trodden’ that they have become wide highways of ever so self righteous. indignation.
I’ve pretty much ‘gotten over myself’ as I’ve gotten older. The only thing that gets my goat nowadays is all the irresponsible dunderheads that are running around in Washington, D.C. My husband and I have adopted my dad’s favorite saying when they made him mad – “They outta shoot the sons-a-bitches.” Then we just laugh and go on.
Thanks for this post.
All the best,
Leslie
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I think the number 1 thing I took away from this article is “Every feeling has a thought from which it originated. ” I cannot agree more with this because when every I go through hardship or a negative time in my life I always try to think of the real origin of the happenings. Then think to myself “well it could be worse”.
Thanks and great article!
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Yorinda, I have been back several times first was to interact with you. I was waiting fro you to reply to my comments?
However, you are person who have shared this one thing and I have been centered on it since my first visit. You have add a great supported way to view all things. “It is all done for us” is what I keep thinking and stating out loud in challenging times which happens everyday for all of us.
That one statement and belief that it is true, has made my levels of anxiety lower. I really mean it being one who has served our Country and PTSD affects us all. We have to learn various methods to deal with it and just taking meds do not work and will not work fully.
Your site it self has enhanced this Veteran’s life so much and with deep appreciation I would like to say thank you.
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Hi William,
my apologies for not replying to your first comment.
I appreciate your feedback and that the post has enhanced your life!
In regards to PTSD, I was brought up by parents who suffered this from the 2nd world war and who lived in fear long after.
Yes, when we adjust our way we think life seems a bit more enjoyable.
You are one of the commentators who responds to the post in a way that encourages me to continue writing!
Thank you so much!
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Hi Yorinda,
This is my first time being on your blog, and I got this address from Silviu’s blog. Out thoughts controls our actions.
I’m trying to view the video, but its not showing ( maybe its blocked since I am still at work). Will view it once I get home.
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I’m sure that all the problems live in our minds and do not exist naturally. It’s always your choice what to think and to do.
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Hi Yorinda,
Love your post. It is so easy to react with a negative thought but if you train yourself to react or turn things around and put a positive note on it, you will be much happier. It does work.
Thanks for your great post. Have a great day. Monna
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What an extremely empowering post Yorinda!
Who would have thought that such a tiny shift in perspective could be so empowering!
I think some people definitely do have to be taught how to escape and free themselves from the
victim mentality.
Although I have never heard of the guest with Oprah on the video, his message was very informative
and truly inspiring!
Thanks so much for sharing it!
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