We have at times different aspects of personality within ourselves.
According to Transactional Analysis(TA) we have an adult, child and critical/loving parent.
Debbie Ford in the books The Dark Side of the Light Chasers and The Shadow Effect writes about the different parts of ourselves and how to embrace and accept them all.
In the last few weeks I have become aware of my feelings of social ‘inaptness’.
My tendency is towards being a recluse, choosing solitude over social-get-together.
A friend invited me to her birthday party. She knows me, so she probably didn’t really expected me to turn up.
On the morning of her party I did some writing about my reluctance to go and I allowed the part of me that was anxious and uncomfortable to really express itself and gave myself permission not to go.
After finishing my conversation with myself on paper, I thought that I would not go. To my surprise a little while later I found myself thinking about preparing for the trip to her place. I actually did feel like going. And I did and had a good time.
Had I listened to my impatient self only and ‘pushed’ myself to go, I would have taken all that anxiety and uncomfortable feeling with me and I am sure it would have affected the whole experience and those around me. I know, because I did it in the past.
My Impatient Self has a valuable contribution to make.
My impatient self:
- Knows what I am capable off and want me to get on with it
- Is solution orientated and sees what could be possible
- Wants the best for me
- Remembers everything I have learned that can be helpful to move on
- That I am not my scared, ashamed little girl
- That I am an adult now
- That I am a spiritual being connected to infinite wisdom love and energy
- That my apparent limitations are just my present perception
- That I can change my perception
it knows that it is possible to move:
- Out of suffering
- Past the struggle
- To better times
- To feeling achievement
- To do better
I am grateful to have my impatient self and do welcome its contribution.
I also have learned, that to constructively, effectively and efficiently move forward, I need to ‘hear’, accept, embrace and include all parts of me, otherwise there will be an undercurrent of unsettledness, disgruntledness, worry and anxiety, which will make moving feel like moving through mud. I may move, but not as easily and fast as I could.
So, if I take the time and really listen to and take all parts into consideration, until they feel settled, then that time spent will pay off, when I am ready to move, with the ease of movement, the speed and effectiveness and even enjoyment.
In meetings with people, where decisions are to be made that involves everyone, like families, it is also important, that everyone is heard and their concerns are taken into considerations.
It is sort of the same when we make individual decisions.
The Shadow Effect
More on Transactional Analysis
A Joke : “The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up”
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